Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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