Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
