the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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