I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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