Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
