Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
