no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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