you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
