its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Send help, water and tortillas.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I am naked and annoyed.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
