i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
