Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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