She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Im part way to drunk.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize