so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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