sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
