shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
