She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
