My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
