Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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