your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
