Im at strip club and am horny
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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