I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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