i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we're making bets on your personal life
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
