i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
