I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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