i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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