This is not my ceiling
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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