i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
