I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
