Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
