we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
