Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
