I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
