Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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