You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
