Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's never too late to be topless.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
