Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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