Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
