butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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