All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize