Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
