apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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