I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need a beard to bite.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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