Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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