It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
