i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize