you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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