I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
