I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
