I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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