Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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