People with herpes should wear stickers.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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