I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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