your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
