DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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