So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
