Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
