I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
