Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
