I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
