1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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