So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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