Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
