My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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