don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize