I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
